The Poetry of Lester Papadopoulos
by fowlbynamedorkbynature
Summary: All of the poetry in The Trials of Apollo
1. Haikus

AN: None of these belong to me. They were all written by Uncle Rick, I have just posted it here so people could access Apollo's beautiful haiku's.

* * *

Hoodlums punch my face

I would smite them I if could

Mortality blows

A girl from nowhere

Completes my embarrassment

Stupid bananas

Used to be goddy

Now uptown feeling shoddy

Bah, haiku don't rhyme

Casa de Jackson

No gold-plated throne for guests

Seriously, dude?

Seven-layer dip

Chocolate chip cookies in blue

I love this woman

Aquaman driving

Couldn't possibly be worse

Oh, wait, now it is

Tag with plague spirits

You're it and you're infectious

Have fun with that, LOL

Peaches in combat

I am hanging it up now

My brain exploded

A walk through the woods

Voices driving me bonkers

I hate spaghetti

My bus is in flames

My son is older than me

Please, Zeus, make it stop

Check your spam folder

The prophecies might be there

No? Well, I'm stumped. Bye

Ode to a hot dog

With bug juice and tater chips

I got nothing, man

Three-legged death race

Five terrible syllables

Oh, gods. Please not Meg

You've got to be kid-

well, crud, what just happened there?

I ran out of syl-

Practice makes perfect

Ha, ha, ha, I don't think so

Ignore my sobbing

Tied to McCaffrey

We might end up in Lima

Harley is evil

Bowling balls of death

Rolling towards my enemies

I'll trade you problems

The Beast is calling

Tell him I'm not here. Let's hide

Where? In garbage. Natch

They have gone missing?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no

No, et cetera

Don't paint over gods

If you're redecorating

That's, like, common sense

Up in my business

Always burning Oracles

Romans gonna hate

Armed to the eyeballs

A combat ukulele

Magic Brazil scarf

Scale of one to ten

How would you rate your demise?

Thanks for your input

Breaking my promise

Spectacularly failing

I blame Neil Diamond

I'm on a roll now

Boiling, burning, throwing up

Lions? Hey, why not?

Imperators here?

Gag me with a peace symbol

Not groovy, Mama

I apologize

For pretty much everything

Wow, I'm a good guy

Parenting advice:

Mamas, don't let your larvae

Grow up to be ants

Nightmares of torches

and a man in purple clothes

But that's not the worst

I school McCaffrey

Yo, girl, your stepdad is wack

Why won't she listen?

Listen to the trees

the trees know what is up, yo

They know all the things

It takes a Village

People to protect your mind

"Y.M.C.A." Yeah

Parting is sorrow

Nothing about it is sweet

Don't step on my face

Uber's got nothing

Lyft is weak. And taxis? Nah

My ride is da mom

Buck-naked statue

A Neurotic Colossus

Where art thy undies?

I love me some plague

When it's on the right arrow

Ka-bam! You dead, bro?

Hey, look! It's Percy

Least he could do was help out

Taught him everything

After the sneezing

Healing peeps, parsing limericks

Worst God Award? Me

Want to hit Leo?

That is understandable

Hunk Muffin earned it


	2. The Poetry of the Forest

**AN: I won't be posting again until the next book comes out, so this story will be under completed until then. Thanks for reading :)**

* * *

Oh, geyser, my geyser,

Let us spew then, you and I

Upon this midnight dreary, while we ponder

Whose woods are these?

For we have not gone gentle into this good night,

But have wandered lonely as clouds

We seek to know for whom the bell tolls,

So I hope, springs eternal,

That the time has come to talk of many things!

* * *

Caves of blue.

Strike the hue.

Westward, burning.

Pages turning.

Indiana.

Ripe banana.

Happiness approaches.

Serpents and roaches.

* * *

There once was a god named Apollo

Who plunged in a cave blue and hollow

Upon a three-seater

The bronze fire-eater

Was forced death and madness to swallow


	3. The Dark Prophecy: Haikus and Sonnet

Lester (Apollo)

Still human; thanks for asking

Gods, I hate my life

Headless guys and gals

Not loving the Midwest vibe

Oh, look - a cheese ghost

My last performance

Some old lady drops the mic

And kills everyone

No building should be

A secret from Apollo

Or drop bricks on him

Tell you a story?

Or I could just, like, pass out

And twitch on the couch

Oh, Magic 8 Ball

Epic fails at prophecies

Leo's ear's on fire

I chopped those onions

With my own ex-godly hands

You'd better eat them

Lovebirds arguing

Trouble in Elysium?

I'll just scrub these plates

Of course it's a trap

With her, it's always one

Trappy McTrapface

Scrubbing toilets now

At least there's a great reward

Leftover tofu

Four beheaded dudes

Are too much for one nightmare

Why me? Sob. Sob. Sob.

I sing of taters!

Chili, sweet potato, blue!

Why? Ask my arrow

Fast-food restaurant

My life goal is realized

Any fries with that?

Yeah, we got the skills

Fake hexes and shooting feet

Teach you 'bout pancakes

Drivin' the green train

I'm all like, Choo-choo! Choo-choo!

Can't catch me! - Oh, poop!

Son of a Midas

You, sir, are a stupid-head

Here, have an ostrich

To the Waystation

Meg McCaffrey eats my bread

I cry godly tears

My dear Commodus,

Commode is named after you

Hail, Toilet Caesar

Call me Narcissus

Today I'll be your trainer

I'll also kill you

Pedaling in style

Leg irons are fashionable

Cue the screaming god

Get me a legion

And about six tons of rocks

Need to kill a snake

I wax poetic

On the beauty of sewers

Real short poem. Done

So amaze! Such name!

Sssssarah with five s's is

Still two syllablesssss

Science can be fun

Squirt those toxic chemicals

Anywhere, really

Big birds are evil

They charge me with razor legs

I die and it hurts

I tip my hat to

The excellent elephant

Let's be besties, 'kay?

Destroy me a roof

Bring me wenches with winches

We're so out of here

Belching stinky smoke

What gene pool did you come from?

Wait. What? (Insert scream)

Carrot-peeling god

Tofu stir-fry is good, but

Needs more ìgboyà

Lester, slap yourself

Oh, for just one night without

Looking like a fool

Start with a C chord

Not all the keys, Meg. C does

Not stand for Chaos

Pretty fuzzy cow

So cute, so warm and vicious!

Squee! Can I kill him?

Feeling groovy, I'm

Drowning, freezing, snake surfing

Life is good, Batman!

Meg takes a solo

Scares away her audience

Good job, McCaffrey

Man, I hate my son

A real arrogant jerkwad

Nothing like his dad

Mind your p's and q's

When you are arming bombs or-

SPLAT - trample jelly

Your favorite fruit?

I hope you didn't say grapes

Or apples, or figs

Waystation damaged

Commodus will pay for this

And I don't take cash

During this standoff

No flash photography, please

Oops. My bad. Ha-ha

Shakespeare, don't bring that

Iambic pentameter

Up in my face, yo

Prophecies don't mix with

Tofurky and biscuits

Just give me dessert

Pancakes for the road

Need a guide for your journey?

Check the tomatoes

* * *

The words that memory wrought are set to fire,

Ere new moon rises o'er the Devil's Mount.

The challenging lord shall face a challenge dire,

Till bodies fill the Tiber beyond count.

Yet Southward must the sun now trace its course,

Through mazes dark to lands of scorching death

To find the master of the swift white horse

And wrest from him the crossword speaker's breath.

To westward palace must the Lester go;

Demeter's daughter finds her ancient roots.

The coven guide alone the way does know,

To walk the path in thine own enemy's boots.

When three are known and Tiber reached alive,

'Tis only then Apollo starts to jive.


End file.
